Being Shirley Read online

  Being Shirley

  By

  Michelle Vernal

  Copyright © 2014 by Michelle Vernal

  All Rights Reserved.

  No part of this work may be reproduced in any fashion without the express, written consent of the copyright holder. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this ebook and did not purchase it or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Being Shirley is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious with the exception of the artist Yanni and the movie Shirley Valentine of which the author acknowledges their copyrighted and trademarked status.

  Acknowledgments

  Paul, one day we will be able to use the travel as a business expense I promise! Thanks as always to you my lovely hubby and our boys for believing in me.

  BEING SHIRLEY

  By: Michelle Vernal

  PROLOGUE

  To: Kassia Bikakis

  From: Annie Rivers

  Subject: Hello!

  Hi Kas:

  Sorry I have been so slack in replying to your last email. I know you always worry when you don’t hear from me since the earthquakes but there have been no big aftershocks for a while—touch wood. I don’t have any decent excuses for not writing sooner either, only that it is coming up to that time of the year again and well, you know what I get like. It’s hard to believe it’s been twenty years. Twenty whole years! Gone just like that. It feels like yesterday sometimes and then other times it seems like a lifetime ago. You know, when I look around me these days, I realise that Roz wouldn’t even recognise Christchurch anymore. I think it’s true that saying, time really doesn’t stand still for anyone.

  Speaking of which, I can’t believe you are going to be a big proper grown-up of thirty-nine on Saturday either. I hope you get thoroughly spoiled by your lovely boys. Thanks by the way for letting me know your parcel arrived okay—hope you like it.

  Carl and I will do our usual to mark the day. The plan is to meet up at the Botanic Gardens like always and then we’ll head back to his place to open the bottle(s) of bubbles and watch the concert. It goes without saying that we’ll raise a happy birthday glass to you too.

  Mum says to tell you hi. She always asks what you’re all up to and likes to be kept in the know. To be honest with you, Kas, she has been driving me nuts since she joined Weight Watchers last month. Do you know the phrase born-again Christian? I suppose not what with you all being Greek Orthodox but it means that someone is really zealous—sorry, I forget English is your second language. Um, how about enthusiastic or in Mum’s case fanatical—about something? Does that make sense? She’s not only a reformed smoker she is now a born-again dieter too.

  Last Saturday, I popped round with a couple of chocolate éclairs, Dad’s favourites. I picked them up from the local bakery and they had fresh whipped cream oozing out the sides. Just yummy but then Mum totally spoiled the moment by telling us how many calories were in each one. She waited until I had a big gob full of choux pastry, chocolate icing, and cream to pass comment too! I’m putting money on it that this wannabe slim Jim phase of hers won’t last, though, because they’ve been looking at cruise brochures again but this time I think they’ll actually pack their bags and go. Come August they could be sailing around the Pacific Islands for a week.

  Dad’s sold a couple of houses in the last month with insurances being paid out finally and people resettling after the earthquakes, so they are in the money. There’s no way anyone, not even my mother, could diet on a cruise. It would be an impossibility with all that food laid out just ready and waiting for you to eat all day every day. I heard the average weight gain on a seven-day jaunt round the Pacific is 3.5kg, so there is hope I will get my cuddly, caramel slice loving mummy back. Fingers crossed, Kas! I’m pleased they are going to get away for a bit, though. It will do them both good to feel a bit of sunshine on their faces and to forget about insurance wrangling for a while. It feels like they have been going head to head over their payout forever. I mean, if the land under your house was dodgy, would you want to stay?

  Oh, now here’s a complete change of subject but while I think of it, I saw my dream dress on the way into work yesterday. It was on display in the window of Modern Bride—which should actually be called Take out a Mortgage Bride—but oh Kas, it is so utterly and completely fabulous. Um…so how can I describe it? Well, it’s ivory. Remember I had my colours done and was told with my red hair and green eyes I was a Warm Spring and as such should never go for white, always ivory? The style is fitted because I’d look like a well-risen Pavlova in a full skirt so there’s another box ticked. The neckline is a sweetheart shape and its very low cut but hey if you’ve got it, flaunt it! Sadly, though, big boobs I may have—big bank account I don’t.

  I really want to try it on, which I know seems stupid considering Tony and I have progressed no further with setting an actual date for the wedding than we had this time last year but hey maybe the time has come for me to take the proverbial bull by the horns or boy by the balls so to speak and move things along.

  You know, though, I sometimes think that the more people go on at us about tying the knot, the more we both dig our heels in and shy away from actually doing anything about it. So anyway I’m thinking that seeing the dress was a bit of an omen and that it’s time for us to progress things because we are in kind of a rut. He has his indoor cricket, rugby, and boy’s nights and I have my book club, Pilates, and girl’s lunches—oh and I’ve got Carl of course, too. The thing is Tony and I don’t seem to do much together other than blob out in front of the tele these days. Me thinks the time has come in our relationship where we need to find a hobby we can both share—one that doesn’t involve bats of any kind. Did I ever tell you that story about the time we entered the doubles table-tennis comp at our local pub? I must have but if not, the crux of that story is that Tony’s so bloody competitive I nearly thwacked him over the head with my bat. Anyway, enough about that.

  Not much has changed on the work front either. I still think it was completely selfish of Mel to go and have a baby, clock ticking or no clock ticking. How could she leave me with Attila the Hun? I know Mama almost drives you demented sometimes but I am telling you your mother-in-law can’t hold a candle to what I have to deal with on a daily basis. Think pit bull with PMT and your halfway there. Still it’s up to me to get off my backside and do something about it, I suppose. The problem is I’d need a bit of oomph for that and I don’t seem to be able to conjure much of that up where work is concerned at the moment.

  Enough about me and life in Christchurch— what about you? How is life in gorgeous Crete? Has your perm settled down? Crazy, isn’t it? You spending all that money getting your hair curled and here’s me with a headful of the things I’d love to get rid of! Swap you. It sounds like you are run off your feet managing Eleni’s, which is a good thing, I guess. Yes, you are in for an interesting time when Alexandros gets home but don’t you go letting that brother-in-law of yours get away with too much. The guesthouse is his livelihood, too, and now that you have it humming along nicely, he needs to pull his weight this time round and not treat it like his personal dating agency. You tell him from me that I said he is to leave the English girls alone! Maybe you should suggest Mama finds him a nice Greek girl and that way she will be too busy matchmaking to continue spoiling Mateo and Nikolos rotten. To be fair, though, Kas, I do think it is every Yaya’s prerogative to spoil their grandchild
ren.

  I hope your lovely Spiros is knocking that bestseller out and that Nikolos’s tooth comes through soon so you can all get some sleep. Don’t go worrying about Mateo, either: he is only three and from what my friends who have boys say, it is perfectly normal for him to be fascinated with his winky. It doesn’t mean he will grow up to be a flasher.

  Be sure to give my love to Mama, and Kas, please tell her she has to stop sending me the baklava. It’s not just because I definitely don’t need fattening up—Customs keeps intercepting it. Tell her she is singlehandedly keeping those sniffer dogs in full-time work.

  Right my friend, it’s nearly eleven p.m. and I have to get to bed now or I will never cope with Attila at work tomorrow. It is time for me to love you and leave you and to say night-night. Hear from you soon and have the best ever birthday!

  Lots of love and kisses to you and all the Bikakis family.

  Annie

  xox

  Kassia Bikakis was replying to reservation requests on the computer in the office that also served as a reception room at Elenis’s Hotel when the message from her New Zealand friend bounced in. She stopped what she was doing, scrolled through and read it eagerly. She leaned back in her chair after she had finished. She frowned as one particularly confusing phrase in the many her friend peppered her emails with jumped out at her. What on earth did a well-risen Pavlova look like? she wondered as she clicked on Reply.

  PART ONE

  Chapter One

  “You know, Roz wasn’t just a druggie—she was my sister, too, and a pretty darn good one before she got into all that crap.” Annie Rivers pursed her lips indignantly as she tucked the red curls making a bid for freedom from her topknot behind her ears. “I really hate the way that when anybody mentions her name, the word drugs is always whispered in the same sentence.” She kicked at the autumn leaves that swirled around her feet with the toe of her boots, and admired the shininess of the new red leather. It had been a magnetic force on a par with the Bermuda Triangle called Nicole who had dragged her into the shop after she’d spied them in its window at the mall last night.

  So much for just popping out to do the groceries. It was all Nic’s fault, she decided deftly as she shifted the blame for her purchase onto her friend. She had been minding her own business, nose pressed to the window of the shoe shop, when Nicole had happened upon her. All the girls in their circle knew she was a bad influence when it came to spending, drinking, and well, pretty much everything, which was also why she was loads of fun. True to form, it hadn’t taken her long to prise Annie’s nose off the window, herd her inside the shop, and persuade her to try the boots on.

  She should have been on a sales commission, her talents were wasted as a receptionist, Annie decided as she thought back to how she had held the correct size out to her like it was Cinderella’s glass slipper before she helped her slide her tootsies inside them. So it was, that after a quick trot round the shop, she had been convinced that she would never survive the approaching winter without this pair of magic boots to see her through it. Just like that and without further ado, she had been parted from her credit card. She linked arms with Nicole and swung the carry bag joyously as she left the shop; she had gone on to shout her friend a couple of drinks at the bar across the road. It had been gone eight p.m. before she finally got round to doing what she had come to the mall to do in the first place. There was nothing like a wine or two under one’s belt to make for a quick grocery shop and she had come home having not picked up half of what had been on her list and a new pair of boots to…uh, boot.

  Tony complained at how long she had been and had rifled through the bags in search of his deodorant. He wanted a quick spray before he headed out the door to indoor cricket and had gone mad when he had instead fished out the incriminating Visa receipt. He couldn’t see the allure of the boots’ lovely leather redness and he didn’t believe in magic. Okay, yes, Annie conceded now with a wiggle of her toes, they had cost a bomb but they were so worth it—Roz would have loved them, too. A frown settled on her forehead at the thought of Roz and she turned towards the eternally youthful yet soon to be officially middle-aged man seated next to her. “You and I both know that there was so much more to her than just her addiction but nobody ever remembers any of the good stuff. It’s like when a prostitute is murdered and the media latches on to her occupation. That’s what people wind up remembering her as—a prostitute who got murdered. Not a person who was someone’s sister or daughter or mother, but for what they did. I really hate that.”

  Carl nodded his agreement as he ran his fingers through artfully dishevelled locks. Annie looked on enviously. What she wouldn’t give for hair like that, so fine, so silky, so sandy-coloured instead of her own mad, red curls that absolutely refused to do what she told them to do. Across the river, the remaining leaves on the trees that overhung the icy, shallow waters had turned the same burnt rust as her hair. A dressing gown, slipper-clad patient from the hospital behind her sat there and puffed furiously on a ciggy. She had an entourage of what Annie’s Nana would have called ne’er-do-wells gathered round the park bench she sat on. Behind the group was the Riverside entry of Christchurch Public Hospital.

  Annie looked up at the cloudless blue sky. A glorious day like today must be therapeutic, even if the cigarettes weren’t. Who was she to judge, though? There were far worse addictions to have, as she had found out thanks to Roz. For all she knew, smoking might be the only pleasure left in the poor woman’s life. She pulled her eyes away and focused on Carl instead. She didn’t want to dwell on other peoples’ tragedies, not today. “I used to idolise her, you know? All I wanted to be when I grew up was her. I wanted my freckles to bugger off and I wanted a straight nose instead of an upturned pug nose and a perfect rosebud mouth like hers. But most of all I wanted her hair.” Annie sighed. “Remember her glorious, straight, strawberry blonde hair that flicked over her shoulders and just stayed there?” She gave her own hair a disparaging pat. “Instead, I got Great-Grandmother Maggie’s ginger mop.” She raised her eyes heavenward as though the long since passed Maggie could hear her. “Thanks a lot, Mags.”

  “Annie Rivers, you do not have a pug nose! Your nose is cute. Women shell out good money for perky noses like yours. Haven’t you ever seen Bewitched? As for your hair, well, it’s high time you changed the tune, sweetheart.” He gave one of her escaped curls a tug. “Those gorgeous red curls are what make you, you. They set you apart from the maddening crowd.”

  Annie pulled a face.

  “Okay, I get that being called the Ginger Minger might have had a detrimental effect on your self-esteem but put it into perspective because you haven’t been at school for quite some time now. Time to move on, sweetheart.”

  “Roz punched a boy who was teasing me once. She took him by surprise and he landed flat on his backside in front of all his mates who thought it was hilarious. It was great having an older sister.” Annie smiled at the long-ago memory. “He never did it again. In fact, he’d turn and walk in the opposite direction when he saw me coming.”

  “I remember.” Carl placed his hand gently on Annie’s arm. “She used to stand up for me, too. The skinny, awkward boy with the plummy English accent who didn’t fit in no matter how hard he tried. She might have been your big sister but she was my best friend.” His blue eyes misted over. “I had my first slow dance with her, you know.”

  Annie did know but she let him continue uninterrupted because their meeting at Roz’s favourite hangout, the Botanic Gardens, and the conversations that played out each year, were all part of this, their annual ritual on Roz’s birthday.

  “It was our 1984 high school disco. We’re talking way before your time, sweetie.” He waved his hand to emphasise his point. “‘Careless Whisper’ by George Michael was playing. Had Georgie Boy come out by then?”

  Annie shrugged.

  Carl frowned, or at least he would have if the Botox in his forehead had allowed him to do so. “No, I don’t think he had because f
rom what I remember, Roz still really fancied him. Anyway, I’m getting off track but that song still brings a tear to my eye, especially when it gets to the bit with the sax.”

  Annie smiled at his heartfelt sigh as he hummed a few bars of the song. Then he remembered she sat next to him and waited to hear the rest of a story she knew inside and out anyway, so he carried on in plummy tones long since muted by his years in the land of fush and chups.

  “She looked so gorgeous in her off-the-shoulder T-shirt and stonewashed jeans that came all the way up to here.” He made a cutting motion just under his chest to demonstrate how high in the waist her jeans had been.

  Annie grimaced. The Eighties had a lot to answer for. And he wasn’t finished yet.

  “Her fluorescent orange socks were illuminated in the dark and she had a matching side bow in her hair.” He kissed his fingers. “Roz was perfection, pure perfection, and we cleared the gym floor with our smooth moves under the strobe lights.” His smile was wistful. “Annie, my darling, that’s when I knew it was love.”

  It was a story she had heard time and time again but she still managed a rueful smile as she elbowed him gently in the ribs. “Love, you reckon? Who with, Carl? Roz or George Michael?”

  He flashed an impish grin, which caused his cheeks to dimple and made him look so much younger than his nearly forty years. “George, of course. It was always going to be George, and Roz got that even when I didn’t.” He shrugged. “She understood me when it wasn’t cool to be gay, not like it is now. The term fag hag might have been fashionable when Will and Grace was a hit TV show but it’s bordering on retro these days and it hadn’t even been invented when Roz and I hung out together.” His hand fluttered to his chest. “I mean, homosexuality was still officially illegal until 1986 in this country, for God’s sake! But you know, when I was with her who I fancied was irrelevant. She made sure I fitted in and I basked in her popularity. I’ll always love her for that.”